“The way of progress is neither swift nor easy.” – Marie Curie
~~~~~~~```

PUN-ISHMENT!

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.


Fire Truck

A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl is wearing a fire fighter's helmet. The wagon is being pulled by her dog and her cat. The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look.

“That sure is a nice fire truck,” the fire fighter says with admiration.
“Thanks,” the girl says.

The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

“Little Partner,” the fire fighter says, “I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope round the cat's collar, I think you could go faster.”

The little girl replies thoughtfully, “You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren!”

Ooooooooooohh!

“But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to
your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is donein secret, will reward you.” – Matthew 6:6

“No great thing is created suddenly.” – Epictetus
~~~~~~~```

PUN-ISHMENT! ~ Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW!
Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions . . . . .

while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?


MOTHER’S MILK

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam.
The last question was: 'Name seven advantages of 'Mothers Milk.'
Worth 70 points or none at all.

One student, who had partied late the night before, was frustrated to think of seven advantages. He wrote:

1. It is perfect formula for the child.
2. It provides immunity against several diseases.
3. It is always at the right temperature.
4. It is inexpensive.
5. It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6. It is always available as needed.

And then, the student was stuck.
Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang, indicating the end of the test, he wrote:

7. It comes in such cute containers.

He got an 'A!

Hmmmmm!


Peter and the other apostles replied:
“We must obey God rather than men!” – Acts 5:29

“Whether you think that you can or that you can’t, you’re probably right.” – Henry Ford
~~~~~~~```

THE BOTTLE OF WINE

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally. "What in bag?" asked the old woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with thequiet wisdom of an elder, she said: "Good trade."


PUN-ISHMENT! Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
---ooooooooooohhh!---


“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.” – Galatians 5:24

“You can spend a lifetime, and, if you’re honest with yourself, never once was your work perfect.” – Charlton Heston
~~~~~~~```

$20.00 - Sometimes we just need to be reminded!

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, “Who would like this $20 bill?”

Hands started going up. He said, “I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.” He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, “Who still wants it?”
Still the hands were up in the air. “Well, he replied, ‘What if I do this?’” And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. “Now, who still wants it?”

Still the hands went into the air.

“My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.
But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who love you.
The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE and WHOSE WE ARE. You are special! Don't EVER forget it."


“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” – Galatians 6:7

Choose Life ~ Choose Joy! ~ Choose Jesus!

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready. As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.

I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait.' '

That doesn't have anything to do with it,' he replied. Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time.Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged .. it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. 'It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with theparts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.

Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away.. Just for this time in my life. Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory Bank. I am still depositing.

'Remember the five simple rules to be happy: 1. Free your heart from hatred. 2. Free your mind from worries. 3. Live simply. 4. Give more. 5. Expect less.

I would add another rule - first give your heart to God!

Pass this message to others. They may need to read this too.

Have a nice day, unless you already have other plans.

“The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles
than in growing with them.” – Bernard M. Baruch
~~~~~~~```

ONE OF THE BEST COMEBACK LINES EVER!

Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the other day and you'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this!!!! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.GENERAL REINWALD: Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio went silent and the interview ended. You gotta love the Marines!

AMERICA: THE HOME OF THE FREE BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE

—0—0—0—0—0—0—0—

“I tell you the truth, a time is coming and has now come
when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God
and those who hear will live.” – John 5:25

Food for Thought

“Life on the farm is a school of patience. You can’t hurry the crop or make an ox in two days.” – Henri Alain
~~~~~~~```

PUN-ISHMENT!
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Bran Muffins

The husband and wife were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven. They reached the pearly gates. St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment. He said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. “Why, nothing,” Peter replied. “Remember, this is your reward in Heaven.” The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and morebeautiful than any ever built on Earth.

“What are the greens fees??”grumbled the old man. “This is heaven,” St. Peter replied. “You can play for free, every day.” Next they went to the clubhouse andsaw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid outbefore them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages. “Don't even ask,” said St. Peter to the man. “This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.”

The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. “Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?” he asked. “That's the best part,” St. Peter replied. “You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever youlike, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!”

The old man pushed, “No gym to work out at?” “Not unless you want to,” was theanswer. “No testing my sugar or blood pressure or . . . ?” “Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.”

The old man glared at his wife and said, “You and your bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago!”

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
– Galatians 5:22-23

Don't Mess With Little Old Ladies! :)

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too!

Correction

Research on “Snopes Urban Legends” reveals that the quote attributed to Abraham Lincoln in yesterday’s post was actually the work of another person.

The Rev. William John Boetcker, a Presbyterian minister, uttered these words in 1916. They were later attributed to Abraham Lincoln, because as Ralph Keyes would say, “Famous quotes need famous mouths.” That is to say, if a quote is true, powerful and worth sharing, if one attributes the quote to someone famous, it will be given even more credibility and be quickly spread far and wide. Rev. Boetcker was a very popular speaker in his generation, but by the 1940’s his name was beginning to fade from the popular psyche.

In this case, in 1942 The Committee for Constitutional Government is believed to have published a leaflet. On one side were a number of Abraham Lincoln quotes, and on the other side was the popular list by Boetcker, in his day a very popular orator, entitiled variously “The Ten Don’ts, The Ten Cannots, Ten Things You Cannot Do, The American Charter, or the Industrial Decalogue. From there it was only a small step for peole to begin attributing this quote to Lincoln himself.

I apologize for the misinformation regarding the author of the quote, but I must say, it is a list either way, no eh?

“You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot help the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer. You cannot further the brother-hood of man by encouraging class hatred. You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than you earn. You cannot build character and courage by taking away man’s initiative and independence. You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.”
– Abraham Lincoln
~~~~~```

PUN-ISHMENT!
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

ooooooooooooh!!!


SCHOOL – A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

BIBLE – A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.

“Mama, look what I found,” the boy called out.
“What have you got there, dear?”

With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear.

Hmmmm!

“Remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.” – James 5:20

Almost Too True to be Funny!

I was walking across a bridge recently. I spied this fellow who looked like he was ready to jump off. So, I thought I’d try to stall him until the authorities showed up. “Don’t jump!” I said. “Why not?” he said. “Nobody loves me.”

“God loves you,” I said. “You believe in God, don’t you?”
“Yes, I believe in God,” he said.

“Good,” I said. “Are you Christian or Jewish?”
“Christian,” he said.

“Me, too!” I said. “Protestant or Catholic?”
“Neither,” he said.

“What then?” I said.
“Baptist,” he said.

“Me, too!” I said. “Independent Baptist or Southern Baptist?”
“Independent Baptist,” he said.

“Me, too!” I said. “New Evangelical/Moderate Independent Baptist or Conservative
Independent Baptist?”
“Conservative Independent Baptist,” he said.

“Me, too!” I said. “Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist or Lose-Your-Salvation
Arminian Conservative Independent Baptist?”
“Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist,” he ssaid.

“Me, too!” I said. “Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist or
Historical Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist?”
“Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist,” he said.

“Me, too!” I said. “Against Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic
Conservative Independent Baptist or For Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial
Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist?”
“Against Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent
Baptist,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women in Ministry Dispensational
Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist or Strict Separation of Church and
State Against Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative
Independent Baptist?”
“Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial
Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “Pro-Disney Boycott Pro-Life Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women in
Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist or Anti-
Disney Boycott Pro-Choice Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women in Ministry
Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist?”
“Pro-Disney Boycott Pro-Life Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women in Ministry
Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “KJV Only Pro-Disney Boycott Pro-Life Unashamed Fundamentalist Against
Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent
Baptist or Modern Versions Pro-Disney Boycott Pro-Life Unashamed Fundamentalist Against
Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent
Baptist?”
“MODERN VERSIONS Pro-Disney Boycott Pro-Life Unashamed Fundamentalist Against
Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent
Baptist” he said.

“Auugghh!!! You heretic!” I said. And I pushed him over.

“The doctor said I would never walk, but my mother said that I would, so I believed my mother.” – Wilma Rudolph (Olympic track star)
~~~~~~~~~~~```


Three Norwegians!

Three Norwegians go down to Mexico to celebrate college graduation, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in themorning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, Sven, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if he has any last words. He says, 'I yust graduated from St. Olaf College in Northfield Minnesota and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.' They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees; beg for Sven's forgiveness, and release him.

The second, Lars, is strapped in and gives his last words, 'I yust graduated from the Concordia College in Moorhead Minnesota and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.' They throw the switch and, again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately fall to their knees beg for his forgiveness, and release him.

The last one, Ole, is strapped in and says, 'Vell, I'm from the University of Nort' Dakota in Grand Forks and yust graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this t'ing in!”

ooooooooooooooooo

PUN-inshment!

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

Hmmmm!


“And the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and if he has committed any sins, they will be forgiven him. Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for another that you may be healed. The effectual prayer of a righteous man of a righteous man can avail much.” – James 5:15-16

“I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven’t the guts to bite people themselves.” – August Strindberg

~~~~~~~~~~```

Hmm!

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside."That laundry is not very clean", she said. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments. About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband, "Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this."

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."

~ ~ ~ And so it is with life.

What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look.

- - - * - - - * - - -* - - -

PUN-ISHMENT!

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

oooooooooooo

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the oldhas gone, the new has come!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17

Hallelujah!

Servant Ministry

In Matthew 20 we read that the mother of James and John, the sons of Zebedee, two of the intimate circle of Jesus' twelve disciples, 11 of whom would go on to become Apostles after His Ascension into heaven, asked a favor of Jesus. She asked in v. 21, "Grant that these two sons of mine may sit, one on Your right hand and the other on the left, in Your kingdom." The brothers must have been standing right there with Jesus and their mother for, in verse 22, Jesus answers and directs a question to them: "You do not know what you ask. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?"

Judas, by this time, was no longer with them, and in v. 24 we read that "the ten" were quite displeased with the two brothers, James and John. Jesus immediately resolves the dispute (vv. 25-28): But Jesus called them to Himself and said, "You now that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave - just as the Son of Man did not come to be sevred, but to give His life a ransom for many."

Remember - Service means "an unceasing and wholehearted labor in making ourselves available to Jesus so that He may Live, in and though us, His Life of infinitely tender, compassionate and merciful Love!

A Teacher's Question

TEACHER’S QUESTION

After being interviewed by the school administration, the prospective teacher said: “Let me see if I've got this right:

"You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning. . . . .

"You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride.

"You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play,and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook, and apply for a job.

"You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs ofantisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the final exams.

"You also want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents in English, Spanish or any other language, by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.

"You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard,a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps.'You want me to do all this and then you tell me. . .

"I CAN'T PRAY?"

The Mayonaise Jar

The Mayonnaise Jar

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes..

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things – family, children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions – things that, if everything else was lost and only they remained – your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else – the small stuff.

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.”

“So . . . pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.Play With your children; spend time with your family. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse or friend out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. 'Take care of the golf balls first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.The professor smiled. “I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

Some Fun & Some Serious Thought!

Potato Pun-ishment!

Well, a Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called 'Yam.' Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato', and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots!

Yam said not to worry; no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her! But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either. She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring Cousins.

When she went off to Europe, Mr. And Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland - and the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. And when she went out West, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped.

Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, 'Frito Lay.' Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University ) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips.

But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw. Tom Brokaw! Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset. They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just . . . .

Are you ready for this?

Are you sure?

OK! Here it is!

A COMMONTATER !!!

POINT OF VIEW

“Astronomical Numbers”
by Kerby Anderson

Over this last year, we have been throwing around some very large numbers. How much is a trillion dollars? Ernest Istook (former member of Congress and fellow at the Heritage Foundation) used some helpful illustrations so we can get our heads around these large numbers.
One illustration looks at how long it would take to count to one trillion. Two years ago, Jeremy Harper made the news when he counted to one million in front of a webcam. He took sleep breaks, so it took him 89 days. But a million is really a very small number. One trillion is actually one million million. If someone wanted to count to a trillion (counting one number per second and taking no breaks), it would take 32,000 years.

Think of this number in another way. This country has not been around a trillion seconds. Western civilization has not been around a trillion seconds. All of recorded history is less than a trillion seconds.

Another illustration would be to cover a trillion miles. Even traveling at the speed of light, it would take two months. However, if you took a trillion one-dollar bills and laid them end-to-end, they would reach from the Earth to the sun.

While we are using astronomical illustrations, let's consider our own galaxy. Our solar system is just an incredibly small part of the Milky Way galaxy. But as large it is, there are probably only 100 billion stars in our galaxy. We would need ten galaxies like the Milky Way to equal a trillion stars.

Let's get back to Earth and consider $1 trillion. If you stacked $100 bills on top of each other, it would take a stack 789 miles high to equal $1 trillion. By the way, the interest on $1 trillion dollars at six percent interest is $166 million per day. One trillion dollars is an astronomical number.

I'm Kerby Anderson, and that's my point of view.

Some Edifying Thoughts

A Quote ~

From Ken Blanchard’s book, Leading At A Higher Level~ Success:

“It doesn’t mean the bottom line, or looking good to Wall Street or being praised by your peers. It’s not about getting the credit or promotions, or the raises. It’s about working with those you lead to get results in a way that honors God. It’s about people, service and results. It’s a new way of leading based on the teachings of Jesus, the greatest leader of all time.

He gave his followers a vision of something greater than themselves.
He consistently reminded them of the long-term effects of their work.
He allowed those around him to fail, but held them accountable.
He redirected them. He forgave them, and He inspired the best in others.

And the result? He started a movement that continues to thrive more than 2,000 years later!”


The American Creed
By Chuck Colson

We Hold These Truths. . . . 'The great British intellectual G. K. Chesterton wrote that “America is the only nation in the world that is founded on [a] creed.” Think about that for a moment. Other nations were founded on the basis of race, or by the power of kings or emperors who accumulated lands and the peasants who inhabited those lands. But America was—and is to this day—different. It was founded on a shared belief, or, as Chesterton said, on a creed.

And what is that creed that sets us apart? It is the eloquent, profound, and simple statement penned by Thomas Jefferson in the Declaration of Independence: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal; they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, and that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

I’ll never forget when I graduated from Brown University during the Korean War. I couldn’t wait to become a Marine officer, to give my life if necessary, to defend that creed, to defend the idea that our rights come from God Himself and are not subject to whims of governments or tyrants, and that humans ought to be free to pursue their most treasured hopes and aspirations.

Perhaps some 230 years later, we take these words for granted. But in 1776, they were earth-shaking—indeed, revolutionary. Yet today, they are in danger of being forgotten altogether. According to Gallup, 66 percent of American adults have no idea that the words, “We hold these truths . . .” come from the Declaration of Independence. Even worse, only 45 percent of college seniors know that the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are proclaimed in the Declaration.

As America grows more and more diverse culturally, religiously, ethnically, it is critical that we re-embrace the American creed. America has always been a “melting pot.” But what is the pot that holds our multicultural stew together? Chesterton said the pot’s “original shape was traced on the lines of Jeffersonian democracy.” A democracy founded on those self-evident truths expressed in the Declaration of Independence. And as Chesterton remarked, “The pot must not melt.”

Abraham Lincoln understood this so very well. For him, the notion that all men are created equal was “the electric cord in that Declaration that links the hearts of patriotic and liberty-loving men together, and that will link those patriotic hearts as long as the love of freedom exists in the minds of men throughout the world.”

So today, go to the Fourth of July parade. Go to the neighborhood barbecue and enjoy the hot dogs and apple pie. But here’s an idea for you. Why not take time out at the picnic to read the Declaration of Independence aloud with your friends and your neighbors.

Listen—and thrill—to those words that bind us together as a nation of freedom-loving people: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

These are the words Americans live for and, if necessary, die for.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Freedom OF Religion, Not Freedom FROM Religion

I checked on Snopes.com and found the following to be true. It was given before a football game Sept. 1, 2000 and, according to the snopes site, also read into the Congressional Record on Sept. 20, 2000 by a representative of Tennessee!
http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/mcloud.asp

I FIND IT INTERESTING THAT A HIGH SCHOOL PRINCIPAL CAN SEE THE PROBLEM, BUT OUR SOCIETY CANNOT. IF I OFFEND ANYONE BY THIS, I REALLY DON'T APOLOGIZE.

This is a statement that was read over the PA system at the football game at Roane County High School , Kingston , Tennessee , by school Principal, Jody McLeod"It has always been the custom at Roane County High School football games, to say a prayer and play the National Anthem, to honor God and Country:

" Due to a recent ruling by the Supreme Court, I am told that saying a Prayer is a violation of Federal Case Law. As I understand the law at this time, I can use this public facility to approve of sexual perversion and call it "an alternate life style," and if someone is offended, that's OK.

I can use it to condone sexual promiscuity, by dispensing condoms and calling it, "safe sex." If someone is offended, that's OK. I can even use this public facility to present the merits of killing an unborn baby as a "viable! means of birth control." If someone is offended, no problem...

I can designate a school day as "Earth Day" and involve students in activities to worship religiously and praise the goddess "Mother Earth" and call it "ecology.." I can use literature, videos and presentations in the classroom that depicts people with strong, traditional Christian convictions as "simple minded" and "ignorant" and call it "enlightenment.."

However, if anyone uses this facility to honor GOD and to ask HIM to Bless this event with safety and good sportsmanship, then Federal Case Law is violated. This appears to be inconsistent at best, and at worst, diabolical.

Apparently, we are to be tolerant of everything and anyone, except GOD and HIS Commandments. Nevertheless , as a school principal, I frequently ask staff and students to abide by rules with which they do not necessarily agree. For me to do otherwise would be inconsistent at best, and at worst, hypocritical... I suffer from that affliction enough unintentionally. I certainly do not need to add an intentional transgression.

For this reason, I shall "Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's," and refrain from praying at this time. " However, if you feel inspired to honor, praise and thank GOD and ask HIM, in the name of JESUS, to Bless this event, please feel free to do so. As far as I know, that's not against the law----yet." One by one, the people in the stands bowed their heads, held hands with one another and began to pray. They prayed in the stands. They prayed in the team huddles. They prayed at the concession stand and they prayed in the Announcer's Box! The only place they didn't pray was in the Supreme Court of the United States of America- the Seat of "Justice" in the "one nation, under GOD."

Somehow, Kingston , Tennessee Remembered what so many have forgotten. We are given the Freedom OF Religion, not the Freedom FROM Religion. Praise GOD that HIS remnant remains!

“It is often easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.” – Adlai Stevenson
~~~~~~~```

PUN-ISHMENT!

The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

ooooooooooooooo –


Hmmm! – Think about it, Parents!

DRESS-UP – A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'“And why not, Darling?” You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

- - - * * * * * * - - -

“You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ.”
– Romans 8:9

“Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.”
– H. L. Mencken

~~~~~~~```


PUN-ISHMENT!

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

---ooo---ooo---oo---


CAN YOU SLEEP WHEN THE WIND BLOWS?

Years ago, a farmer owned land along the Atlantic seacoast. He constantly advertised for hired hands. Most people were reluctant to work on farms along the Atlantic. They dreaded the awful storms that raged across the Atlantic, wreaking havoc on the buildings and crops. As the farmer interviewed applicants for the job, he received a steady stream of refusals. Finally, a short, thin man, well past middle age, approached the farmer. "Are you a good farm hand?" the farmer asked him. "Well, I can sleep when the wind blows," answered the little man.

Although puzzled by this answer, the farmer, desperate for help, hired him. The little man worked well around the farm, busy from dawn to dusk, and the farmer felt satisfied with the man's work. Then one night the wind howled loudly in from offshore. Jumping out of bed, the farmer grabbed a lantern and rushed next door to the hired hand's sleeping quarters. He shook the little man and yelled, "Get up! A storm is coming! Tie things down before they blow away!"

The little man rolled over in bed and said firmly, "No sir. I told you, I can sleep when the wind blows." Enraged by the response, the farmer was tempted to fire him on the spot. Instead, he hurried outside to prepare for the storm.

To his amazement, he discovered that all of the haystacks had been covered with tarpaulins. The cows were in the barn, the chickens were in the coops, and the doors were barred. The shutters were tightly secured. Everything was tied down. Nothing could blow away. The farmer then understood what his hired hand meant, so he returned to his bed to also sleep while the wind blew.

Moral of the Story: When you're prepared, spiritually, mentally, and physically, you have nothing to fear. Can you sleep when the wind blows through your life? The hired hand in the story was able to sleep because he had secured the farm against the storm.

We secure ourselves against the storms of life by grounding ourselves in the Word of God. We don't need to understand, we just need to hold His hand to have peace in the middle of storms.

“May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

– 1 Thessalonians 5:23

Ben Stein's Last Column

I verified the truth of this article via Snopes.com. They also give an excelent summary of Ben Stein's career for any who may be interested. Thanks Ben Stein, for being so "real" and for speaking truth to s society whose values have become so skewed.

Ben Stein's final column > For many years Ben Stein has written a biweekly column called 'Monday Night At Morton's.' (Morton's is a famous chain of Steakhouses known to be frequented by movie stars and famous people from around the globe.) Now, Ben is terminating the column to move on to other things in his life. Reading his final column is worth a few minutes of your time.

Ben Stein's Last Column...

How Can Someone Who Lives in Insane Luxury Be a Star in Today's World?> As I begin to write this, I 'slug' it, as we writers say, which means I put a heading on top of the document to identify it. This heading is 'eonline FINAL,' and it gives me a shiver to write it. I have been doing this column for so long that I cannot even recall when I started. I loved writing this column so much for so long I came to believe it would never end.

It worked well for a long time, but gradually, my changing as a person and the world's change have overtaken it.. On a small scale, Morton's, while better than ever, no longer attracts as many stars as it used to. It still brings in the rich people in droves and definitely some stars. I saw Samuel L. Jackson there a few days ago, and we had a nice visit, and right before that, I saw and had a splendid talk with Warren Beatty in an elevator, in which we agreed that Splendor in the Grass was a super movie. But Morton's is not the star galaxy it once was, though it probably will be again.

Beyond that, a bigger change has happened..? I no longer think Hollywood stars are terribly important. They are uniformly pleasant, friendly people, and they treat me better than I deserve to be treated. But a man or woman who makes a huge wage for memorizing lines and reciting them in front of a camera is no longer my idea of a shining star we should all look up to.> How can a man or woman who makes an eight-figure wage and lives in insane luxury really be a star in today's world, if by a 'star' we mean someone bright and powerful and attractive as a role model? Real stars are not riding around in the backs of limousines or in Porsches or getting trained in yoga or Pilates and eating only raw fruit while they have Vietnamese girls do their nails.

They can be interesting, nice people, but they are not heroes to me any longer. A real star is the soldier of the 4th Infantry Division who poked his head into a hole on a farm near Tikrit, Iraq. He could have been met by a bomb or a hail of AK-47 bullets. Instead, he faced an abject Saddam Hussein and the gratitude of all of the decent people of the world.

A real star is the U.S. soldier who was sent to disarm a bomb next to a road north of Baghdad. He approached it, and the bomb went off and killed him.

A real star, the kind who haunts my memory night and day, is the U.S. soldier in Baghdad who saw a little girl playing with a piece of unexploded ordnance on a street near where he was guarding a station. He pushed her aside and threw himself on it just as it exploded. He left a family desolate in California and a little girl alive in Baghdad.

The stars who deserve media attention are not the ones who have lavish weddings on TV but the ones who patrol the streets of Mosul even after two of their buddies were murdered and their bodies battered and stripped for the sin of trying to protect Iraqis from terrorists.

We put couples with incomes of $100 million a year on the covers of our magazines. The noncoms and officers who barely scrape by on military pay but stand on guard in Afghanistan and Iraq and on ships and in submarines and near the Arctic Circle are anonymous as they live and die.

I am no longer comfortable being a part of the system that has such poor values, and I do not want to perpetuate those values by pretending that who is eating at Morton's is a big subject.

There are plenty of other stars in the American firmament: the policemen and women who go off on patrol in South Central and have no idea if they will return alive; the orderlies and paramedics who bring in people who have been in terrible accidents and prepare them for surgery; the teachers and nurses who throw their whole spirits into caring for autistic children; the kind men and women who work in hospices and in cancer wards.

Think of each and every fireman who was running up the stairs at the World Trade Center as the towers began to collapse. Now you have my idea of a real hero.> I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters This is my highest and best use as a human. I can put it another way. Years ago, I realized I could never be as great an actor as Olivier or as good a comic as Steve Martin or Martin Mull or Fred Willard--or as good an economist as Samuelson or Friedman or as good a writer as Fitzgerald. Or even remotely close to any of them.

But, I could be a devoted father to my son, husband to my wife and, above all, a good son to the parents who had done so much for me. This came to be my main task in life. I did it moderately well with my son, pretty well with my wife and well indeed with my parents (with my sister's help). I cared for and paid attention to them in their declining years. I stayed with my father as he got sick, went into extremis and then into a coma and then entered immortality with my sister and me reading him the Psalms.

This was the only point at which my life touched the lives of the soldiers in Iraq or the firefighters in New York. I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters and that it is my duty, in return for the lavish life God has devolved upon me, to help others He has placed in my path. This is my highest and best use as a human.

Faith is not believing that God can. It is knowing that God will.

by Ben Stein

“The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.” – Arthur C. Clarke


PUN-ISHMENT!

The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.


Hmmmmm . . . .

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'


I can do all things through Him who strengthens me ~ Phil. 4:13

Short and to the Point!

“Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” – Elie Wiesel

<><>
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns
<><>

“When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” – John 8:12


( Short enough for you, George? )

Good Advice and "Hmmm! Humor :)"

“You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself.” – Galileo Galilei


Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other had a Chihuahua. As they sauntered down the street, the guy with the Doberman said to his friend, "Let's go over to that bar and get something to drink."

The guy with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us." The one with the Doberman said, "Just follow my lead."

They walked over to the bar and the guy with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk into the bar.

The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, Mac, no pets allowed."

The man with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my Seeing-Eye dog."

The bouncer said, "A Doberman pinscher?"

The man said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good."

The bouncer said, "OK then, come on in."

The buddy with the Chihuahua figured he'd try it, too, so he put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk into the bar. He knew his story would be a bit more unbelievable. Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."

The man with the Chihuahua said, "You don't understand. This is my Seeing-Eye dog."

The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?"

The man with the Chihuahua said, "A Chihuahua?!? A Chihuahua?!?

They gave me a Chihuahua!!!

Think deeply, Think well ~ Think Often!

“Drunkenness is temporary suicide: The happiness it brings is merely negative, a momentary cessation of unhappiness.” – Bertrand Russell


“You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my handshave produced this wealth for me." But remember the LORD your God,for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and soconfirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it istoday.” – Deuteronomy 8:17-18


LEFTIES TRIVIA – In baseball, lefties throw curve balls more often, making it harder for a right-handed batter to predict where the ball will be when it crosses home plate. Since most batter are right-handed, this makes left-handed pitchers extremely valuable.


Hane a Blessed Day!

It is my responsibility!

“Ultimately, it's up to each of us to choose how we will live our lives, hold ourselves to high standards, and continually evaluate what's inside the image we see in the mirror.” -- Eric Harvey

I t is so easy to blame others - other people and circumstances. That is the nature of our flesh. We tend to focus on the "speck" in the eye of another. Instead, we should turn our attentioon to the "log" in our own eye. (See Matt. 7:4-5). When we do so ~ when we accept full responsibility for "who we see in the mirror" ~ when we thoroughly cleanse our own hearts with confession of sin and true repentance, the Father is faithrul to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). Only then can we see clear, with both heart and eye!

Spiritual maturity demands that we continually turn our hearts to the King! He must ever be on the throne of our heart! When it is no longer about me, when it is all about Him, then, and only then, will we know true peace. Only then will we live our lives well; and, only then will we attain to the high standards that our Father's heart hearts for us to reach.

Isiaiah 40:31 - Those who wait upon the Lord (stand at his right hand - as a cupbearer of old, or as an excellent server in the best restaurant today - shall renew their strength. They (we) shall mount up on the wings of an eagle - to soar in the highest heavens! They (we) shall run and not be weary; we shall walk and not faint! PTL

Thonas Jefferson - Prophetic

Thomas Jefferson Quotes:

Jefferson in some cases could be called a prophet.
When we get piled upon one another in large cities, as in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as Europe . Thomas Jefferson
The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not. Thomas Jefferson
It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world. Thomas Jefferson
I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them. Thomas Jefferson

My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government. Thomas Jefferson

To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical. Thomas Jefferson


Very Interesting Quote
In light of the present financial crisis, it's interesting to read what Thomas Jefferson said in 1802:

'I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered.'

Interesting Quote:Norman Thomas (November 20, 1884 - December 19, 1968) was a leading American socialist, pacifist, and six-time presidential candidate for the Socialist Party of America. He was ordained as a Presbyterian minister in 1911. As a candidate for President of the U.S., Norman Thomas said, in a 1944 epoch speech: "The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of "liberalism" they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be socialist nation, without knowing how it happened." He went on to say: "I no longer need to run as a Presidential Candidate for the Socialist Party. The Democratic Party has adopted our platform."

PTL - I Couldn't Have Said it Better! :

Several years ago Barbra Streisand publicly berated actree Patricia Heaton (of Eveybody Loves Raymond) for her adamant stand agaisnt abortion. Asked by Fox New's Bill O'Reilly to comment, Heaton replied, "It will not be Barbra Streisand I'm standing in front of when I have to make an accounting of my life." Amen!

A Lesson on Socialism

An economics professor at Texas Tech said he had never failed a single student before but had, once, failed an entire class. The class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on socialism."

All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A. After the first test the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. But, as the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided that since they could not make an A, they studied less. The second Test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around the average was an F.

The scores never increased as bickering, blame, name calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for anyone else. All failed to their great surprise and the professor told them that socialism would ultimately fail because the harder people try to succeed the greater their reward but when a government takes all the reward away; no one will try or succeed.

The Law of the Garbage Truck

Beware of Garbage Trucks

How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, a rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day? Unless you're the Terminator, for an instant you're probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly one can get back their focus on what's important. Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab.

Here's what happened: I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car's back end by just inches!

The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. I mean, he was friendly! So, I said, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!"

And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck." Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you.

When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You'll be happy you did."

So this was it: The "Law of the Garbage Truck." I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people: at work, at home, on the streets? It was that day I said, "I'm not going to do it anymore."

I began to see garbage trucks. Like in the movie "The Sixth Sense," the little boy said, "I see Dead People." Well, now "I see Garbage Trucks." I see the load they're carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And like my Taxi Driver, I don't make it a personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on.

One of my favorite football players of all time, Walter Payton, did this every day on the football field. He would jump up as quickly as he hit the ground after being tackled. He never dwelled on a hit. Payton was ready to make the next play his best.

Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting. Good parents know that they have to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses. Leaders and parents know that they have to be fully present, and at their best for the people they care about.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their day. What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by?

Here's my bet. You'll be happier. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so ~
Love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the ones who don't.
Believe that everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, TAKE IT!
If it changes your life, LET IT!

Nobody said it would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it!

~ Anonymous
* * * * * * * *

Hmmmm!

Sometimes a Little Comparison Helps You Feel Just a Little Smarter! :0)


"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass,
and I'm just the one to do it," – A congressional candidate in Texas .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~```

Beware of Garbage Trucks

How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, a rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day? Unless you're the Terminator, for an instant you're probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly one can get back their focus on what's important. Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab.

Here's what happened: I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car's back end by just inches!

The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. I mean, he was friendly! So, I said, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!"

And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck." Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you.

When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You'll be happy you did."

So this was it: The "Law of the Garbage Truck." I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people: at work, at home, on the streets? It was that day I said, "I'm not going to do it anymore."

I began to see garbage trucks. Like in the movie "The Sixth Sense," the little boy said, "I see Dead People." Well, now "I see Garbage Trucks." I see the load they're carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And like my Taxi Driver, I don't make it a personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on.

One of my favorite football players of all time, Walter Payton, did this every day on the football field. He would jump up as quickly as he hit the ground after being tackled. He never dwelled on a hit. Payton was ready to make the next play his best.

Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting. Good parents know that they have to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses. Leaders and parents know that they have to be fully present, and at their best for the people they care about.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their day. What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by?

Here's my bet. You'll be happier. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so ~
Love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the ones who don't.
Believe that everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, TAKE IT!
If it changes your life, LET IT!

Nobody said it would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it!

~ Anonymous

Say What?

At a Car Dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”

Outside a Muffler Shop: “No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'

A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises.

“There is more hunger in the world today for love and affection than for hunger.” – Mother Teresa
~~~~~~~```

So it was for the Apostles of Christ in the first century Roman Empire, and so it is in America today! There is tremendous spiritual hunger ~ so much so that people are seeking for Truth in all the wrong places (Oprah Winfrey's New Age course on miracles with Eckart Tolar (sp?), in spiritualism (consulting mediums, their horoscopes, et.al.), UFO's, Wicca (witchcraft and the worship of the earth), etc.

This is a golden opportunity for evangelism. Jesus said that we are the salt of the earth and the light of the world (Matt. 5). The darker it gets in America, the brighter should we shine! Look for every opportunity to share the Good News of the Kingdom and the Love of God, and watch Him open the doors for us to do just that! Praise Him!

[Remember to post a comment on this blogspot, please! Thank you, and God Bless ~ Bob]

Interesting Facts About Israel: Did you know? ~

Israel accounts for less than 1/1000th of the world's population, yet

The Cell Phone was developed there, as well as
Windows NT software,
AOL's Instant Messenger

Israel has two official languages ~ Hebrew and Arabic

In the Matrix movies the city of Zion is the last beacon of freedom and hope for humanity -
the name used synonymously in the Scriptures for Israel and for Jerusalem!

Israel is the only country in the Middle East where Christians and Jews and Muslims all have the right to participate in free and fair representative parliamentary elections! Like America, Israel has a true commitment to the Freedom of Religion for all of its citizens ~ just one more reason that we should support and honor our alliance with this tiny nation that exists in a "sea of enemies" who, in turn, deny those of other faiths than their own from the freedom to worship as they choose.