I was walking across a bridge recently. I spied this fellow who looked like he was ready to jump off. So, I thought I’d try to stall him until the authorities showed up. “Don’t jump!” I said. “Why not?” he said. “Nobody loves me.”
“God loves you,” I said. “You believe in God, don’t you?”
“Yes, I believe in God,” he said.
“Good,” I said. “Are you Christian or Jewish?”
“Christian,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “Protestant or Catholic?”
“Neither,” he said.
“What then?” I said.
“Baptist,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “Independent Baptist or Southern Baptist?”
“Independent Baptist,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “New Evangelical/Moderate Independent Baptist or Conservative
Independent Baptist?”
“Conservative Independent Baptist,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist or Lose-Your-Salvation
Arminian Conservative Independent Baptist?”
“Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist,” he ssaid.
“Me, too!” I said. “Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist or
Historical Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist?”
“Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “Against Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic
Conservative Independent Baptist or For Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial
Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist?”
“Against Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent
Baptist,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women in Ministry Dispensational
Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist or Strict Separation of Church and
State Against Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative
Independent Baptist?”
“Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial
Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “Pro-Disney Boycott Pro-Life Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women in
Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist or Anti-
Disney Boycott Pro-Choice Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women in Ministry
Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist?”
“Pro-Disney Boycott Pro-Life Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women in Ministry
Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “KJV Only Pro-Disney Boycott Pro-Life Unashamed Fundamentalist Against
Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent
Baptist or Modern Versions Pro-Disney Boycott Pro-Life Unashamed Fundamentalist Against
Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent
Baptist?”
“MODERN VERSIONS Pro-Disney Boycott Pro-Life Unashamed Fundamentalist Against
Women in Ministry Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent
Baptist” he said.
“Auugghh!!! You heretic!” I said. And I pushed him over.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment