Let's do a Five-Day Countdown to Mother's Day with:

I OWE MY MOTHER.............

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. -
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. -
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. -
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. -
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. -
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

THANKS, MOM.